Black water

21st January - Waitomo, North Island

I am rather fond of the term Black water. In my mind it elicits images of places like Moria, the River Styx or the underwater lake in the Adams Family mansion. Predictably, our experience was rather more NZ than mythical underworld. Nonetheless, it was an excellent way to waste a few hours.

We were told about it by a girl we met in Vietnam. 'It's amazing, you're in a tube floating under rocks covered in glow worms'. If that's not a hook, I don't know what is. But when we arrived, we realised that we knew little else of what we had signed up for and I admit there was a little apprehension about the 'jumping off waterfalls' part. What can I say, it was our first outdoor activity in NZ. And we're both chick-chick-chicken!

After getting kitted out with inner tube, wetsuit and a pair of rubber boots that wouldn't have been out of place in a Village People promo, we were lead down to the practice area to do some jumps. What we saw was a jetty about 12ft above an uncomfortably shallow stream. Jump of that, backwards, with the tube around you ass. I think not.

As it happens, the upper jetty was used only when the river was very high and we jumped of the lower one, some 2-3ft above the water. I can confirm that this 'booty first' method of jumping into water is about as good as it gets, as it involves lots sitting down on comfy rubber furniture.

Once we eventually ducked out of the afternoon sun and entered the caves, the real experience began. With our head torches illuminating a little of the person in front, we staggered like drunkards, feeling our way forward. After numerous twists and turns, we reached our first waterfall and a tame jump later, our chance to slowly drift away into the darkness. As we ventured further, the cave roof began to rise to form an underground canyon. And it is here were thousands of glow worms cover the ceiling like stars, sending down a soft green light.

Unlike many of the others in our group, I attempted to lie down on my tube. Although this may sound ill conceived, it is the best way to go. By holding your body straight you can lie flat and comfortably look straight up and drift away. Admittedly, you cannot see where you are going and I stoved my head into a couple of rocks on the way, but small price to pay in my eyes.

After we emerged from the caves, the last leg of our journey was simply to float down the stream to the bus. The majority paddled in the shallow waters, but one village idiot at the back lay flat, looking up at the clouds with his mouth open. This is what Sunday afternoons should be all about.

Good work geeks!

Only left Australia just over a week ago and have already finished our postings. Might have something to do with all the rain we've been having since getting to New Zealand... nonetheless, make it worthwhile - take a look (there are new ones as far back as mid December!) and get adding those comments!

The Rock

15th - 18th January: Uluru

When booking our round the world tickets, we were told that we could fly to Ayers rock (and back) for no extra cost as we had available air miles. On checking with reliable sources that it was a good place to visit, and since it was 'free', we thought we might as well take a look. As you all no doubt know, Uluru, also known as Ayers Rock, is the large sandstone rock formation in central Australia.

Having had some grey weather recently, and in need of some sun before flying to New Zealand, we were looking forward to getting to the desert. Everyone guaranteed we'd find a lot of sun there, if maybe too much. However, on disembarking our plane, we were greeted with rain. No chance of topping up that tan then. Oh well, there were more important things to see and do.

We met our tour group shortly after and were taken to some of the main sights in the afternoon; the Cultural Centre, the Valley of the Winds and Kata Tyuta before heading to the Ayers Rock sunset viewing area. Uluru is notable for appearing to change colour as the light strikes it at different times of the day, with sunset being particularly remarkable. Unfortunately, along with many other bus loads of tourists, we weren't to see this remarkable sight, as no light was getting through those impenetrable clouds. No worries though, we were being fed tasty cheese and fizzy wine and had high hopes for sunrise.

So, up early in the dark the next day at the unsociable hour of 4am, we were taken to the sunrise viewing area. Again we were joined by many tourists, though not the hordes from the evening before. They obviously had something better to do, like sleep. Again we waited, seemingly in vain, to witness the changing colour of the rock. After an hour or so, just when we had nearly given up hope and wished we were still in bed with the rest of them, the sun broke through the clouds and hit our target. It really was a remarkable sight. As you can see from the photo, and the comparative one from the night before, the rock did glow. Luckily we managed to get a few shots in before the cloud covered over again but the wait was definitely worth the wait.


With our spirits lifted, we did the 10km base tour of Uluru and later met our guide to be shown some of the more interesting sights in the rock; including the 'kitchen', 'school' and 'nursery'. We were also shown many original Aboriginal drawings in the rock and where many of the legends originated from.

Unfortunately, here our tour ended, as the rest of the group were heading back up to Alice Springs via King's Canyon. And for us, due to some bad planning, we had the next two evenings and day to lounge in the rip-off resort. It wasn't all bad though as there was a pool and live music. Kind of cheesy but good entertainment nonetheless.

Bush tucker

14th January - Sydney, NSW

Picture the scene if you will; the sun hurries westward, the shadows lengthen, a girl in a funky dress and a long armed tramp search for food. They drop into McDo to use the free bathroom facilities. They pause as they pass Subway to discuss the merits of 'foot-long food'. They enter the atrium of one of Sydney's taller skyscrapers and take the lift to the 43rd floor.

After enjoying a glass of sparkling wine, they tuck into paella spiced ocean trout with caramelised tomato tart and candied garlic eggplant. They sip their crisp white wine and watch the world go by as the restaurant slowly rotates. The cheap-food-in-expensive-resto offer wins out again.

Still, these things cannot last forever. The express lift smoothly brings them back down to earth and minutes later they are seen sitting on a park bench sharing their McFlurry dessert. Order is restored.

City by the sea

10th January - Sydney

After Bris, it was straight down to Sydney care of Virgin Blue, Branson's cheap ass airline. Although Bris was pleasant in its SimCity way, this was a seriously good city.

Full of all of the nonsense that Australians love, such as trees, parks and sports facilities, it has an ultra modern feel. It even has a monorail, although admittedly its junk, like something from a 70's Doctor Who episode. But at the same time, the city appears to have all of the culture and diversity that you need if you want anything interesting to do.


Understandably we had a glimpse at all of the main sights, although nothing really appealed. Indeed the pleasure of our stay was in just strolling around the city, taking in the strange mix of architecture and wasting our time. Incidentally, more cities should be built on this much water.

On our first visit, we were met by hoards of Barmy Army fans, who were quite understandably pissed in all senses of the word. Although this gave the city a bit of a Prince of Wales Road feel, I did see one mildly amusing t shirt, which no doubt you have seen already.

We stayed in a number of different hostels, but the preferred one was in Darlinghurst. Just down the road from Kings Cross, its full of restaurants and bars and rich kids. It felt a little like Fulham, although not quite as unpleasant and perhaps with a hint of originality. The whole valley to the east of the city centre is full of cool low rise buildings, trees and would be an awesome place to live.

We also went to Bondi where I was comprehensively beaten by the waves.

The Blue Mountains

A two hour drive west of Sydney lie the Blue Mountains. Despite the name suggesting otherwise, they are in fact not a range of mountains, but a series of sandstone structures and cliffs. The name doesn't completely misguide you however. Viewed from a distance, they do have a bluish tinge which we were told is caused by the release of volatile oils from eucalyptus forests covering these 'mountains'.


Our group was split into two, those who wanted an easy day and to be be driven round the cliffs to the viewpoints, and those who were feeling more energetic and were to walk the cavern floor. We happened to be in the latter. Our guide Nigel quickly got rid of one member of the proposed group because he didn't think he could take the heat and also didn't have the right footwear. Initially I thought this was pretty harsh and felt sorry for the vicar but by the end of the walk and climb I agreed with Nigel, there was no way he could have scrambled his way over boulders through creeks in his church shoes. I was wearing walking shoes (something I prefer not to do but on this occasion it was for the best) and lets just say that I was glad they were waterproof.

Another deception was Nigel. Despite looking like someone who's spending his semi-retirement years eating delicious Aussie pies, even to his own admission, he was fit. Very fit indeed. The way he bounded up and down those cliffs would have impressed even our own 'Mountain goat' Amit. Nigel would certainly have raced him on our 3 peak challenge last year and probably won.

After the first look out across the valley we were taken down into and along the cavern floor. It was pretty impressive scenery and many types of plant, and some wildlife, were pointed out. We were also repeatedly told to keep an eye out for snakes as they are common in the area. Only the other day the other guide didn't spot one right in front of him until it jumped across his face. Nigel seem disappointed that we didn't come across any but I'm pretty sure that I wasn't the only who was glad of this.

On our second day we decided to take the easier, more touristy option and visit two of the Jenolan caves. These are a spectacular series of limestone caves that are regarded as some of the world's best. We had a tour for 90 minutes in the Lucas and Orient caves and saw an array of stalactites, stalagmites, shawls and straws, many looking like various structures including organs, people and even a cathedral. The cavern described as the cathedral is actually used today for recitals and weddings. I'm still not sure whether that's tacky or not, unusual though to say the least.

Two days in the valley

8th January - Hunter Valley, NSW

One of the many advantages of living in Sydney is the fact that it doesn't feel particularly like Australia. Another is its close proximity to Hunter Valley, a fine southern Californian wine growing areas just a couple of hours outside of the city.

My limited knowledge of wine (white, red, pink) proved to be little disadvantage as we spent our first afternoon being driven around the relaxing countryside visiting local vineyards. Initially, there was some idle chatter suggesting that we might have to pay or indeed be limited in the number of tastings. This turned out to be unfounded; the tour was run by the YHA and was aimed at loungers such as ourselves. And so we sniffed, sloshed and necked all manner of fine vintages and even purchased a couple of bottles to boot. A fine waste of a day.

Our second day followed a similar pattern, although this time our steeds were of the two wheeled variety. After subduing that Great British regard with which we are all born, we imposed ourselves on further independent vineyards and discovered the pleasures of cold, sparkling red wine.

The Cougar

29th December - Australia, somewhere

Throughout our epic travels, I have attempted to prove my worth by watching an unhealthy amount of foreign tv. I am particularly partial to NBA games with Chinese commentary and a Japanese show about 2 slightly camp detectives.

In Australia however, I have had my patience sorely tested by their appalling adverts, the vast majority of which appear to have been put together on someone's Atari. The fine exception to this rule is adverts about The Cougar (left). Have a look at the videos and perhaps consider introducing some of the skills into your life.

Briso!

30th December 2006 - 5th January 2007

We finally made it all the way down to Brisbane and it looks pretty impressive. The city is a town planners dream; they obviously had the space and time to build a great city and made the most of it. It has everything you could wish for - sky scrapers, impressive bridge, fancy south bank and even it's own artificial beach and lagoon. A refreshing change to the backward towns we had seen for the last two weeks and one that definitely gets the thumbs up.

Here we meet the end of our journey from Cairns with Gord and Mel and bid them a fond farewell. Off they went to Sydney for the New Year celebrations and then back home via Hong Kong to spend any spare cash they could lay their hands on. I'd like to say a huge thanks to both of them for an awesome 2 weeks. We owe you big time Gord!


And for us, we were to stay in Brisbane for a few more days to make the most of Iain and Craig's kind hospitality. Their plush apartment even had a spa and pool, pimp-tastic.

Our first night with them was at a New Years eve party at Helena and Shane's (thanks for letting us tag along guys!) and safe to say, the Australians pretty much party like us - the usual boozing, fireworks, sparklers and BBQ. One new find however was the BLT canape, I could have eaten a tray of them.

Since we've been travelling we haven't been dancing; to my dismay and to Ed's relief. However, on New Years day we ventured to one (and the only?) of Brisbane's clubs. It's great for people-watching as you're treated to a whole array of men on podiums in bright tight vests and shorts (I'm under the safe guidance that boy shops just dont sell shorts like that). We even witnessed a dance off. Fab! In addition to the impromptu entertainment, the club was well air conditioned and smoke-free, makes a nice change to the usual sweat pits in London.

In addition to these two nights out; we also explored the city, did some shopping, went to the lagoon, visited a national park and had a day out at the plush beach resort, Noosa. A pretty chilled out week which was greatly welcome and much needed.

So, I'd like to end by giving another big thanks, this time to Iain and Craig for letting us stay, driving us around and for their wonderful culinary skills. And a final word of advice - when you come back to England, remember that flip-flops are not called thongs. You may get some odd looks...

Fraser Island

28-29th December 2006

So, we rock up at Hervery Bay late afternoon hoping to find some accomodation and to book a trip to Fraser Island for the following day. We should be so lucky. All the esplanade lined hotels and motels are full, all the tours are full. Everyone is going there for a few days over New Year and booked ages ago. Smart move. So for us dummies it was a trailer park with a local ginger idiot to boot. However, our luck was not completely out, in one last ditch attempt to get to the Island I'd heard so much about, we asked the lady at reception to double check and as luck would have it, there had just been a cancellation and did we want it. Hell yes!

We were met by our guide in a four wheel drive coach. Basically a monster truck which made caning it round the largest sand island in the world a thrilling ride. It seemed that the coach and driver were indestructuible as we raced past all the smaller vehicles. I'm not sure if it was because we only had one day to get round the island, or just because our vehicle was bigger than the others, but it was fun nonetheless.

During our few hours there we did a rainforest walk, visited Eli creek, the coloured sands, the Maheno wreck and Lake Mackenzie. All very impressive and I'll certainly be going back for longer one day.


Fraser Island is home to a variety of wildlife, including the infamous dingo. Despite their depleting numbers, they are still a real threat to us. I thought that it was pretty much guaranteed that you'd see one but we sadly didn't. However, on second thoughts, maybe this was for the best. After coming face to face with a casserwary, I'm now more careful what I wish for.

Look look!

Vietnam blogs all completed and ready for perusal. Not even a month late!

Forget Christmas, New Year, January, even February and instead look at some pictures of guns. That's what I did and now I'm feeling much better.

The Resort

Boxing Day, Whitsunday Islands, Queensland

We have few traditions in our family, but one of them is to take a country walk on Boxing Day. Although always a struggle to get out of bed, it nearly always proves to be excellent; the fresh winter air, the crisp frosty ground under foot, the sun setting at 2pm and of course a pint in a traditional country pub.


This Christmas, in Airlie Beach, there were murmurs of trying to emulate this fine tradition under the Australian sun. In the end, it was decided that we would take a boat out to one of the islands, relax on the beach, walk in the rainforest and partake in a little snorkelling. Our destination; Daydream island (see nice brochure picture above).

There are already a couple of mistakes that I should point out. Firstly the name - the island used to be called West Molle Island, but when it was purchased by new owners, they decided to name it after their sailing boat. Who does that? Naming an island after a boat is like naming a child after a nightclub. Stupid.

The second, is why on earth would you give a boat a name like that? Everyone knows that boats should carry names such as Hood, Illustrious or GSV Uninvited Guest. Certainly not daydream.

When I arrived on the island, a wave of concern ran over me as I saw people getting picked up from the ferry point in golf carts. Eerie and things did not improve. As I worked my way to the other end of the island, I distinctly felt that we could well be in a Butlins resort. Heavy handed landscaping had put pay to much of the original flora and replaced it with grass and sprinklers. Our lunch (included in our package) was taken next to the man made coral reef where some old people were trying to feed bread to a shark.

After lunch, we took ourselves away, past the IKEA chapel (below) and via a 'rainforest walk' (although there was scarcely enough canopy to justify the claim) to get some snorkels. On the way we passed through the hotel proper which contained some unpleasant upholstery and a number of large fibreglass fish hanging from the ceiling. The entire island would have been excellent fun if it had been deserted instead of being thronged with people who appeared to rather like it.



It was not all bad - the snorkelling was great and large shoals of fish surrounded us in 2 ft of water. Throughout the day I had been acutely aware that there were few ways off the island and only when we took the ferry at the end of the day, was I able to relax and enjoy freedom.