Censorship

A note to the reader

The blog, as some of you may have noticed has been updated with little regularity over the past month or so. This is not a sign of us having too much fun nor does it signify that we are wandering in the countryside without a map. It is mostly a reflection of the rather haphazard nature of internet connections here in China.

Saturday, for example, is block all useful western sites day (hotmail, blogger, photobox etc). Indeed, it is not possible for us to view our blog directly, which my explain why some of the entries look like they have been arranged by 8 year olds (alas this does not excuse the poor quality grammar). I looked up 'censorship' on wikipedia but that site was blocked too.

This morning I turned on the TV (CCTV no less) to see a group of people exercising in front of the camera. It briefly crossed my mind that I should get up and join in or risk the TV telling me off.

Carry on cruising

Still November, getting colder - Chongqing to Yichang on a boat

After our idle time down south, we idled it up a notch by flying to Chongqing to begin our voyage through the Yangtze's famed three gorges (or as I now like to refer to them, the 2 gorges, but more of that later).

The taxi drive from the airport was superb because A) our taxi driver drove like he was in the film Taxi and B) the night time approach to the city over a long bridge looks like something from a manga. However, 'qing was shrink wrapped in low cloud, cold rain and was, as a consequence, crap. No worries; we were only there to get onto the boat.

The boat was a smaller and more primative version of a cross channel ferry; grubby and judging by the food, chef had 'been to Iceland'. The cruise lasts for 3 nights and 2 days and travels down stream through the gorges. The scenery was mostly restricted to the 2nd day, the first being a conveyor belt of low hills heavily scarred by human stupdity.

The gorges, when they came, were good enough; they impose themselves on you through their scale alone, although we saw them from 150m above the original water level of the river prior to Chairman Mo's dam nonesense. We also took a smaller boat cruise up a side gorge, which provided further vertigo inducing cliffs (one of which has some coffins placed in caves several hundred feet up...).

But despite all of the fine scenery, the trip was slightly marred by the Chinese tourism experience. The basics of which are as follows:

1) Wherever you go, get a photo of each of your party obscurring the fine view and pulling the same face.

2) Why walk or queue, when you can run and form a mob. This will save minutes in the long run and you never know when the world will end.

3) Never spend more than 5 minutes at any one site. As above, this will gain you extra minutes back on the bus/boat.

4) Each site of interest should be accompanied by at least one gift shop, if not more. This point is very important.

5) Behave like sheep - get herded, make lots of noise and don't take any notice of your surroundings.

6) Try to observe at least one of the gorges at night, when you are asleep.

The above was demonstrated on a number of occasions, but best when we toured the dam project on the final day. Despite driving along the top of the dam in a golf cart (tick off another one of my ambitions), it was about as much fun as sniffing a builder's 'pit whilst travelling to work on the Northern line.

Purple hills

Sometime in November, sometime ago - Yangshuo

I think there was more than a little reluctance in our leaving Kong. The place, as Hels mentioned, is so easy on every level, that the lazy man in me was inclined to stay for the winter.

No fear though, a few hours back in China and we're on a night bus to Yangshuo. The night bus, as you are probably aware, has half reclined beds which are more than comfortable if you are about 10 years old and small for your age. I found the experience a little like when you see some child-sized chairs and think it would be funny to sit in one, until you get your ass stuck in it. Anyway, thoroughly uncomfortable, guess-work required to get off at the right stop and only one person got their wallet stolen. Sweat on!

Fortunately, YS is a most relaxing and interesting place to unwind for a few days (says man on a 6 month holiday). We checked into a fancy hotel and lowered our ambition to 'doing sweet FA'. Unfortunately we failed in this and almost became 'busy' by cycling through rice paddies, cruising down the river and climbing hills.

The little town was once a travellers' haunt but now is also frequented by middle aged tour groups who seem determined to lose all self
respect by doing congas in the street whilst singing Old Lang Syne. I would have done my bit, but I didn't have fragmentation grenade to hand.

The area is famous for its karst hills - limestone formations that look more than a little familiar if you've ever played the original
DOOM PC game. If you haven't played it, go out and get a copy now, check out the moonscape and then you'll know what I mean. Or look at the photos (weak option). Close up, during the daytime, the hills are thoroughly uninspiring, but given a little distance, a river perhaps and a setting sun and we are talking 'kodak moment'.

King Kong

5th - 9th November

Hong Kong is relativley clean, civilised and spit-free. It even has Pret-a-manger. A nice respite from the rest of China.

We spent our time doing the usual touristy things; taking in the impressive high-rise city from Victoria peak and Kowloon pier, hiking up to the big buddha and a boat trip along the river. Being with jet-set G and Will we also had an excuse to blow our budget somewhat and enjoy 4 nights out on the trot. I think that's more drinking than we did during a whole month in Japan.

Will even managed to convine us to revisit a karaoke box. Seeing as he was only visiting for a few days, Ed and I obliged. Despite the selection of English songs being at the detriment to the vast array of canto pop, a good few hours were spent singing away. As you can see from the picture, the boy's got soul.

Birthday on train

4th November - a date for your diary

Little to be added. It was my birthday and almost all of it was spent on a sleeper to Hong Kong. I spent most of the time lying down and avoiding annoying, nonsensical conversations with locals where they speak loudly in Mandarin and I reply in English with classics such as 'I don't want any duck intestine' and 'Go away, you're making my brain hurt'.

Luckily, lying down is one of may top 5 passtimes and Helen was ace and sorted me out with some unimpeachably fine loot.

Shanghai

31st October - 4th November

Taking the Maglev train from Pudong airport, we arrived in downtown Shanghai at speed, 430km/hour to be precise. That's faster than Superman. And Ed wasn't even wearing his tights.

Shanghai has many nicknames - whore of the orient, Paris of the East etc. I'd probably just call it a building site, on a grand scale. The city is evolving and being develped at such a pace that even Lonely Planet make an apology for out of date details. They were right. On our first day the restaurant we wanted to go to was closed for refurbishment, the bookshop and market bulldozed down and the aquarium closed.

The city is very much in two halves; one moment you are walking along the Bund admiring skyscrapers, the next, you're down some dirty side alley back in 'old china'. During one of my walks around the city, I stumbled upon the Bird, Flower and Insect market. Jars of bugs, stick insects and who knows what line the aisles. After about 15 minutes in the place, I had to get out, it gave me the creeps. I left empty handed, despite Ed's approaching birthday.

Back to China

31st October - Shanghai

As someone travelling around some of the finest and most interesting parts of the world for a whole 6 months, there should not be great scope for moaning.

However, those of you who know me understand that when it comes to complaining about something, I never let and opportunity go to waste.

And a fine opportunity, in my eyes, was flying back to China (think noise, dirt and greasy food) from Japan (think tranquil and civilised, with extremely cool futuristic stuff thrown in for good measure).

But when we got off the plane in Shanghai, I was more than impressed by the 430kmph Maglev train that takes you into the city and then the modern metro journey that followed. Was I back in Nippon? No. I was in China and alas, some new infrastructure a developed country does not make.

Vindicated in my moan. Damn.

Karaoke

Tokyo: 23rd -31st October

Many great, and not so great, things are attributed to the Japanese; state of the art electronics, sushi and Hello Kitty. One of their finer inventions, however, must be the karaoke box.

Tokyo is full of them. On every street you can see the distinctive red and blue neon sign beckoning you in. We couldn't resist.

For those who have been to the karaoke box in Soho, and still live to tell the tale after enduring Mike's singing, these boxes could not have been more different. The rooms are clean and spacious, the selection of songs more comprehensive and cold beer is served. They even come equipped with neon flashing lights, a nice touch I thought.

After spending 3 hours singing euro pop and listening to japan pop (including the theme tune to Monkey), we went for some food with Chikako and her friend. Having sung his little heart out, Ed ordered a dish of raw horse meat, which he claimed was called 'Daddy, I want a pony!'.

Fruits

29th October - Tokyo

If you've not seen the Shoichi Aoki publication entitled 'Fruits', I suggest you take a look at it next time you go to Waterstones. It is full of strange Japanese kids dressed up in fantasy gear. Relax, not that kind of stuff - we're talking somewhere between manga, little bow peep and sesame street.

These kids can be found chilling and eating birthday cake each weekend near Harajuke station in Western Toki. It is a bizarre sight to behold; these (mostly) girls in their costumes, the tourists wandering around bewildered, the old Japanese men perving with their cameras.

I met a guy who was making a documentary on the whole phenomenon. I asked him what insights he had gained as to why they did this. He had no idea. Sounds like it'll be a great documentary.

Living in a box

Tokyo: 23rd - 31st October

I remember first hearing about capsule hotels in a geography lesson all those many years ago. I was curious at the time but never imagined that I would actually be checking into one. So, when Ed first suggested it, I agreed that you just have to give some things a try. I was pretty apprehensive however; it really wouldn't be the ideal place to discover that I suffer from claustrophobia.

The capsules come equipped with everything you may need; the obvious bedding, towels, dressing gown, toothbrush (the bristles are coated with toothpaste - the Japanese think of everything), slippers, toiletries and tv. Perfect for those workers or party goers who've missed the last train home.

Having made the most of the free internet provided, I said good night to Ed and ventured up into my 1 x 1 x 2 metre cocoon. It's pretty weird entering a room full of these cocoons all stacked along side and above/below each other and thinking how may people you must be sharing it with. In a city so short of space however, it just makes sense.

Despite knocking the sides of the capsule a few times (I feel sorry for whoever was next to me), I must say that it was the bext nights sleep I had since being in Japan. Certainly beats sleeping on tatami mats on the floor anyway.

SUUUUMO!

26th October - Tokyo

After walking around in Ryoguko at some unpleasant time before 7am, we arrived at a rather non-descript building in a very typical Tokyo back street. However, when the door was partially openned by a man with too much neck, we knew we were in the right place - the sumo stable.

There are a few myths about sumo that I think I can clear up right now.

1) no, sumo cannot do flying headbutts, nor can they fly in general

2) yes, they can do the hundred hand slap - we watched them practice it by slapping a wooden post, albeit quite slowly

3) no, they don't smell cheesy - a common misconception

4) my height and weight make me eligible to train as a sumo

Our few hours there really allowed me to gain some respect for these chubbers. They work incredibly hard, taking turns to push each other across the ring, slapping posts and getting thrown on the floor by their larger superiors. When you see them working in such close quarters, it is impossible not to notice how powerful these boys are.

Perhaps the hardest thing they do is eat their single main meal (chanko) each day. This can be the equilvalent of up to 10 normal meals in one sitting. I'm greedy, but that's excessive.